Grace's Account of the DBA Winter Tour:

Tour gang (in order of appearance):

Grace

Brian

Amy

Nicole

Aaron

Adam

Todd

Kerri

Sam

Rob

One month after the tour, there are only a few things that stick in my short term memory mind.  One of them being the people I met this time.  It was not like the R4B tour of last when the prime caravan was Brian Miller and Grace Lee.  The 2 of us made the tour kind of like a Jewish married couple visiting Florida.  This time it was camp family love and business stress all rolled into one mushy musical note, the dark curly kind. 

Brian and I were prepared with road games this time.  We saddled up with some Choose Your Own Adventure books, my favorite being Rock ‘n Roll Mystery.  “Jake’s gonna be so proud of us kids!”

Riverside

Playing in a thrift shop is cool.  I got to shop, play, shop, and then be sad cause I couldn’t buy anything.  I was on tour, now.  And I gotta save my money!", said Kerri and I.  But I had to satisfy my compulsion somehow so I got away with buying a Pixies Doolittle cassette for a buck. 

The show was a total mess.  We were stiff and clumsy.  Half way through Mystery, I started playing a different song, Peter and the Wolf.  OOO, not letting it slide Brian stopped the set, and said, “That was the worst start we have ever performed.”  Looking straight at me, “let’s start that one again.”  We did, and I fucked up AGAIN!!!  I was pissed and nervous.  Brian was embarrassed and overreacting.  Kerri was holding it together though.  After every song, Brian stuck his tongue out and went, “Blech.”  But at least I made Todd laugh really hard when my unicorn head kept getting me stuck between the mic and my sampler.  Mystery was never to be played again for the rest of the tour.   

San Diego

Warm Scolaris with rockin sexified Tender Buttons.  The place was packed with interested people.  R4B played really well and Brian, Kerri, and I jumped up and down after the show.  Redeemed! Redeemed! 

Arcata

14 hours later, we arrived in Arcata.  This was the first time ever when my brain was telling my body to do things and I would move years after receiving any synopsis signal.  We all were lupid tired, but we played amazingly enough to summon our first mosh pit.  R$B rocks.  Tonight, we met the band Ral Partha.  These boys were really great.  Check them out, when you get the chance.  Snap.  I gotta just say, the lead singer from Ral Partha is a splitting image of David Duchovny, but instead of a sexy FBI agent, he’s a sexy rocker.  So, in my heat, I told him, “I like your strap.”  And you know what he said? “I like yours too.”  But I really did, it had like musical notes or cross bones on it, uh, so I don’t remember.  But his strap was cool, I swear.  Oh, his guitar strap.  Geees!    

Seattle

Goths and R4B?  I am not sure how to judge this show.  We played precisely, but the lack of audience spirit crushed us a bit.  There were people at the cafe, but no one really knew we were there.   

Portland

7:15

Drunk crowd and drunk me!  I love it when I single handedly start a dance party!  I am the best!

KPSU

Jake sampled my Kill Me Tomorrow homage on his Language Master (Mattel Toys).  What else can I say...besides, “I require chocolate.”

Red and Black

Don’t remember much about this show, besides Kerri obsessing over the vegetable soup at the cafe.  After every slurp, Kerri would exclaim, “this is the best soup I’ve ever tasted.”  Slurp.  Tee hee.  What a weirdo.

Disjecta

Played in a huge auditorium theater thingie.  Rob and Sam were throwing around a 3.5 ft diameter beach ball.  We were totally trying to be brats.  But our competition was heavy, when contending with Bronwyn and the Minor Thirds kids.

Astoria

GOONIES RULE!!!  But sleeping on a hard wood floor after having forgotten our sleeping bags in LA doesn’t.  Cough cough cough gag gag all night.  Poor Brian, kept him up.

Bellingham

Michael RULEs!!!  What I remember the most was, “Alright kiddos, I don’t know what y’all are going to do, maybe go to sleep, but I’m going to stay up and smoke some pot.”  Was I dreaming?  May the syndicate note that, yes I was.  And his cat!!!@#@!  Rob pet him which made the cat roll up, head touching hind feet and wheel around while he went,  “Raarrrr grrrr aaaaa.”  Sweet!  Did I mention Michael is like 70?  Ahhh chasing papi!

SF

It was gay pride in R4B for sure.  We rocked a rave, hee hee hee.  And then the DJ played “what if God was one of us.  Like a slob like one of us.”  I lie not.  And it wasn’t even a mix or anything, just straight up Kiss FM 1990.  And this cool guy gave me swigs from his wine, and gave me winks.  Wine and Winks.  And and and, I saw my sweet sage Joanne.  Sad to say, she was having relationship drama with her lover, but it’s cool yo.  We danced her tears away.  You know how that goes.  Oh and the wine (that came with winks) got me so sick at the Chinese diner.  All I had to do was open my mouth, didn’t even have to lean over, and my stomach didn’t even squeeze inwards, my speghetti poured forth.  Gross.

San Jose

Blech.  Emo?  I almost fell into the dark bowels of depression and sunk into its marsh.  But I had to cheer Brian up cause he got all depressed that the audience sucked so bad, at least at face value...no one got us at all.  So to cheer Brian up, I acted like a fool for him.  I screamed and flashed the heavy metal gang sign simulating a hairy redneck beasto at an Iron Maiden concert after every song and other stupid inappropriate stuff.  It worked.  I am the best.

LA

Ahhhh.  The Smell. the smell. the smog...the alley was drifting with the smell.  Hello friends.